MUCOLYTIC

Father John & Father Daniel decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real holiday not doing, saying or wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous beach wear and oversized sun glasses and hats.

The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their new 'tourist' outfits and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a tall pina colada, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" topless blonde in a thong bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare, dropping their jaws. As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said "Good morning, Father, good morning, Father", nodding and addressing each of them individually, and ambled along, swaying enticingly.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests? So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits so loud you could hear them before you even saw them. Once again, as the duo sat on the beach
in their deck chairs with a tall glass of Chi Chi each, the same gorgeous topless blonde, wearing just a string, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them and greeted each of them with an individual "Good morning, Father". As she started to walk away, one of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, "Just a minute young lady, we indeed are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know how in the world did you know that, dressed as we are?"

"Oh, Father, it's me, Sister Angela," the luscious blonde spilled over, "I'm on vacation, too".

(Okay, I'm guilty already.)

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver
says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar
gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says:
"Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise
control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at
his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar
detector went off when it did." As the officer makes out the second ticket
for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says
through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your
seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah,
well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over
so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now,
dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never
wear your seat belt when you're driving." And as the police officer is
writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks,

"WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??" The officer looks over at the woman and
asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

I love this part....









"Only when he's been drinking."