Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Philo 101
> *_
> GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:_**
> 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
> 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
> 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch
the
> second person.
> 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
> 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
> 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
> 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
> 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
> 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
> 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.*
>
>
> *_
> GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:_**
> 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
> 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
> 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
> 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
> 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
> 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the
toy.*
>
>
>
> *_
> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD_**
> 1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
> 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
> 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
down
> there.
> 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
> chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
> 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody
bothers to
> ask you the questions.
> 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
> 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.*
>
>
> *_
> THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:_**
>
> 1) You believe in Santa Claus.
> 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
> 3) You are Santa Claus.
> 4) You look like Santa Claus.**
> *
>
> *_
> SUCCESS:_**
>
> At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
> At age 12 success is . having friends.
> At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
> At age 35 success is . having money.
> At age 50 success is . . . having money.
> At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
> At age 75 success is . having friends.
> At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.*
>
> GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:_**
> 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
> 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
> 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch
the
> second person.
> 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
> 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
> 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
> 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
> 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
> 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
> 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.*
>
>
> *_
> GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:_**
> 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
> 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
> 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
> 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
> 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
> 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the
toy.*
>
>
>
> *_
> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD_**
> 1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
> 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
> 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
down
> there.
> 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
> chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
> 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody
bothers to
> ask you the questions.
> 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
> 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.*
>
>
> *_
> THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:_**
>
> 1) You believe in Santa Claus.
> 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
> 3) You are Santa Claus.
> 4) You look like Santa Claus.**
> *
>
> *_
> SUCCESS:_**
>
> At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
> At age 12 success is . having friends.
> At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
> At age 35 success is . having money.
> At age 50 success is . . . having money.
> At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
> At age 75 success is . having friends.
> At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.*
>
